Agreeing to Disagree

The phrase "agreeing to disagree" technically means that two people with difference of opinions 'set aside an irreconcilable difference in order to maintain a civil dialogue.' This phrase was first noted in Josiah Wedgwood's writings in 1785. In simple terms it means that neither of the party is convinced by the other's opinion, and therefore, respect each other's opinion and agree that both are entitled to entertain own thoughts about the subject without falling apart from each other. It should be a mantra of people leading public life like religious leaders, social activists, political leaders etc.

We might think about how to express disagreements? But expressing disagreements is better than not expressing it. From the point of view of mental health, agreeing to disagree is an agreeable method of disagreement in a pleasant way. We do not insist on hanging on to our own position but try to respect the position of the other individual without disrespect. It is very important that in this position each one expresses the views without hurting the other. It helps both the parties to know each other's opinion. It motivates both parties to improve upon each other's thoughts.

Agreeing to disagree demands that we do not make serious unfounded allegations. If we believe that agreeing to disagree is to express our views in an uncontrollable manner then we are mistaken. It is a position that gives way to each other to put up arguments in a polite and pleasant manner. It can be said that even our disagreement will have nobility in dealing with the issue. It happens more often that we tend to express our views just for the sake of opposing some popular persons. If we analyse such views we would understand that it is just for the sake of making ourselves believe that we are courageous. But we forget that courage of a person can be measured only when the disagreeing person expresses his/her views in the presence of the one whom he/she is opposing. Opposing somebody or speaking ill of somebody in that person's absence does not come under it but it is slandering. It is a temptation so we need to keep ourselves away from it. Because agreeing to disagree in simple terms are methods of being able to air opposing views without the intolerant behaviour.

There are a few terms that we often use such as appeasement, compromise, pleasant appearances, unexpressed resentment etc. These are not characteristics of such persons who have learnt to agree to disagree. There are many things that we disagree with like matters related to our organizations, certain appointments and works, policies of political parties and governments, the taxation systems, certain mannerisms of individuals and at times certain colours of our own dresses and its styles. Over the years we have learnt to live with them by expressing them in an acceptable manner. If we do not express our discontentment, it starts filing up to a mountain of disagreements leading to a permanent dent in our attitudes and behaviours.

This position is a comfortable disposition to success. It fills one with commitment to the duty, helps people to avoid personal mud slinging on individuals whom we do not like, and above all it provides cues to develop right attitudes and methods of working. It sounds very simple but it is more difficult than we think of. So it needs to be cultivated as part of our behaviour. There should be enough space for people to express disagreements in an agreeable manner. It is the secret of many successful people.