Love and affection can stem divorce: Cardinal Vithayathil

The rise in divorce cases among Keralite Christians have raised several concerns within the Christian community and have prompted Cardinal Varkey Vithayathil to respond with a pastoral letter.

The letter was read out recently in all parishes of Ernakulam–Angamaly archdiocese, which the cardinal heads. It urged people to instill love and affection in family life to stem the tide toward divorce.

"People have forgotten that married life should be continued till their death," the cardinal laments.

Syro–Malabar Church spokesperson Father Paul Thelakat said fading values in family life prompted the cardinal to address the divorce issue in the pastoral letter.

Father Thelakat said that though the letter was read out only to Ernakulam–Angamaly Catholics, it is aimed at all Christians in Kerala.

In it the cardinal quoted statistics highlighting "the alarming number of divorces among Christians." In 1998 Kerala recorded 3,847 divorce cases among Christians, according to court records. The following year, 4,377 Christians filed for divorce in the state. By 2000, the number had increased to 5,129.

The cases, which come up in civil; and family courts, may take years to settle. Christians account for 19 percent of Kerala's 31.8 million people.

The cardinal points out that the 288 divorce cases in his archdiocese in 1999 rose to 933 in 2000.

According to him, premarital counseling, mutual understanding of partners and respecting the rules of the Church are necessary to stop divorce.

Father Thelakat said the cardinal drafted the letter in the context of the SMC's biennial assembly scheduled for Nov. 2–5. Every section of the Church would be represented in the assembly, which has the theme "Challenges Faced by Christian Families."

According to Cardinal Vithayathil, studies by the archdiocese have revealed that alcoholism is the main factor in 40 percent of divorce cases among Christians in Kerala. Thirty–five percent of the cases are traceable to extramarital relations and 15 percent to mental problems, with the rest due to assorted reasons.

Under these circumstances, only love and affection can prolong family life and security, the cardinal asserted. According to him, more cases relating to married life surface at family courts because of changes in people's lifestyle.

The cardinal also stated that the majority of romantic marriages in Kerala fail. Asserting that life should be viewed more seriously, he calls for taking "bold decisions" before arranging marriages. He stresses that couples need to more fully understand the values of family life.

In addition, he proposes that people about to marry should have detailed information about each other. "In fact, marriages should not be conducted in a hurry," he advised.

The cardinal remarked that people often arrange marriages quickly because of external pressures, which then lead to failed marriages.

He recalled that when the Church started a premarital course some years ago, it encountered some opposition. "Now it is heartening to learn that not only Christians, but other religions have also started premarital counseling."

The pastoral letter urged Christian families to ensure young people attend premarital counseling courses. It also urged Christian couples to understand and respect each other, saying family problems or personal disagreements often lead to divorces.